January 2012
12 posts
Jan 26th
5 notes
Jan 25th
2 notes
Jan 23rd
2 notes
So this happened
Republican candidates: FAMILY VALUES FAMILY VALUES FAMILY VALUES
Americans: um hey we'd kind of like jobs
Republican candidates: FAMILY VALUES
Americans: or heath care
Republican candidates: FAMILY VALUES FAMILY VALUES
Americans: you're not listening are you
Debate moderator: Did you really ask your second wife for an open marriage as she just announced on national tv tonight?
Republican candidates: GASP
Newt Gingrich: HOW DARE YOU ASK ME ABOUT MY FAMILY VALUES IN A PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HOW IS THIS RELEVANT
Debate moderator:
Americans:
Bill Clinton:
Jan 21st
3,604 notes
Jan 17th
141 notes
“Selecting the perfect sex partner for Flavor Flav is pointless because...”
– Seanbaby
Jan 16th
Jan 16th
145 notes
Jan 14th
4 notes
1 tag
Jan 13th
2,071 notes
Jan 12th
565 notes
Jan 8th
8,683 notes
Santorum: I Didn’t Say “Black People,” I Said... →
verboss: Santorum defended his tongue-slip on FOX News Channel’s “The O’Reilly Factor,” saying: “I looked at that, and I didn’t say that. If you look at it, what I started to say is a word and then sort of changed and it sort of — blah — came out. And people said I said ‘black.’ I didn’t. And I can tell you, I don’t use — I don’t — first off, I don’t use the term ‘black’ very often. I use the...
Jan 6th
417 notes
December 2011
5 posts
Dec 27th
Dec 13th
Who watches the Watchmen?
fittythebone: This guy right here. On BluRay. With jalapeño poppers. “Runtime is 162 minutes, but it takes me 173 minutes because I have to keep playing the credits sequence over until I’m finished masturbating.” -The Internet
Dec 12th
11 notes
Dec 8th
1 note
Dec 1st
2 notes
November 2011
12 posts
Nov 30th
30 notes
Nov 29th
230 notes
3 tags
Nov 29th
5 notes
Nov 28th
6 notes
Nov 27th
1 note
Nov 13th
Paterno's law team to use loopholes →
Hi! Are you not completely disgusted right now? Well, read this article! Now you are disgusted with people! I’m going to go drink.
Nov 13th
1 note
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dõt)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
Nov 12th
WatchWatch
esoterrorism: Jon Stewart on Penn State The best part about this is that Stewart, while being funny, isn’t trying to make jokes. He’s just emphasizing the horror of this story in the way that Stewart does, wherein you have to either laugh at what he’s presented, or cry at it.
Nov 11th
64 notes
1 tag
Nov 9th
2 tags
Welp. Tomorrow I'm waking up at 6 and moving to...
Welp.
Nov 6th
I made a bucket list, because I need to buy a lot...
Nov 5th
2 notes
Nov 1st
October 2011
23 posts
1 tag
Never mind. Switched it up to a New Belgium globe.
Keepin’ it domestic.
Oct 28th
Drinking Diet Mt. Dew out of a half-liter...
Yes, I have the day off. How did you know?
Oct 28th
Oct 27th
Oct 25th
1,950 notes
Oct 19th
130 notes
Oct 17th
16 notes
Oct 17th
Oct 14th
462 notes
Oct 12th
60 notes
Currently watching through season 1 of Breaking...
If I see one episode without a murder or a half-dissolved body falling through a ceiling, I’m bailing on this show.
Oct 12th
2 tags
Is no one else just impressed that Hank Williams...
Oct 11th
3 notes
If you watch Breaking Bad backwards, it's about a...
Oct 11th
3 tags
You know how songs that talk about "snow" usually...
Pretend that’s true for Christmas songs.
Oct 7th
Oct 7th
1 tag
Oct 6th
4,601 notes
3 tags
Coffee and Skrillex
The intent was to get some joke-writing done. The result was that I want to run all around this hipster coffee shop.
Oct 4th
1 note
Oct 4th
Oct 4th
19 notes
Doing comedy, especially in an underdeveloped scene like Omaha, you get a lot of people trying to drum up comics in order to make money off of them by dragging them to shitty bars under the name “Mike’s Funny Bunch” or something. I feel victim to one of these setups when I first started, and I just got this email of what appears to be basically the same thing, so here is my well...
Oct 4th
Anonymous asked: have you ever experience a tough audience? who do you deal with that?
Oct 3rd
2 notes