January 2012
12 posts
So this happened
Republican candidates: FAMILY VALUES FAMILY VALUES FAMILY VALUES
Americans: um hey we'd kind of like jobs
Republican candidates: FAMILY VALUES
Americans: or heath care
Republican candidates: FAMILY VALUES FAMILY VALUES
Americans: you're not listening are you
Debate moderator: Did you really ask your second wife for an open marriage as she just announced on national tv tonight?
Republican candidates: GASP
Newt Gingrich: HOW DARE YOU ASK ME ABOUT MY FAMILY VALUES IN A PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HOW IS THIS RELEVANT
Debate moderator:
Americans:
Bill Clinton:
“Selecting the perfect sex partner for Flavor Flav is pointless because...”
– Seanbaby
1 tag
Santorum: I Didn’t Say “Black People,” I Said... →
verboss:
Santorum defended his tongue-slip on FOX News Channel’s “The O’Reilly Factor,” saying: “I looked at that, and I didn’t say that. If you look at it, what I started to say is a word and then sort of changed and it sort of — blah — came out. And people said I said ‘black.’ I didn’t. And I can tell you, I don’t use — I don’t — first off, I don’t use the term ‘black’ very often. I use the...
December 2011
5 posts
Who watches the Watchmen?
fittythebone:
This guy right here. On BluRay. With jalapeño poppers.
“Runtime is 162 minutes, but it takes me 173 minutes because I have to keep playing the credits sequence over until I’m finished masturbating.” -The Internet
November 2011
12 posts
3 tags
Paterno's law team to use loopholes →
Hi! Are you not completely disgusted right now? Well, read this article! Now you are disgusted with people! I’m going to go drink.
Anonymous asked: Not only do I like your blog (haha I found it) but I also am OBSESSED with you secretly. Ok here we go.. I got this idea from a Tumblr spam I got once lol.. I think you like me too and you were always too shy to admit it :3 go to crushmatches(dõt)com (wtf it wont let me link regular) and make an account there. Then look up the profile 'gottagetme19' (me obviously) I left body...
Watchesoterrorism:
Jon Stewart on Penn State
The best part about this is that Stewart, while being funny, isn’t trying to make jokes. He’s just emphasizing the horror of this story in the way that Stewart does, wherein you have to either laugh at what he’s presented, or cry at it.
1 tag
2 tags
Welp. Tomorrow I'm waking up at 6 and moving to...
Welp.
I made a bucket list, because I need to buy a lot...
October 2011
23 posts
1 tag
Never mind. Switched it up to a New Belgium globe.
Keepin’ it domestic.
Drinking Diet Mt. Dew out of a half-liter...
Yes, I have the day off. How did you know?
Currently watching through season 1 of Breaking...
If I see one episode without a murder or a half-dissolved body falling through a ceiling, I’m bailing on this show.
2 tags
Is no one else just impressed that Hank Williams...
If you watch Breaking Bad backwards, it's about a...
3 tags
You know how songs that talk about "snow" usually...
Pretend that’s true for Christmas songs.
1 tag
3 tags
Coffee and Skrillex
The intent was to get some joke-writing done.
The result was that I want to run all around this hipster coffee shop.
Doing comedy, especially in an underdeveloped scene like Omaha, you get a lot of people trying to drum up comics in order to make money off of them by dragging them to shitty bars under the name “Mike’s Funny Bunch” or something. I feel victim to one of these setups when I first started, and I just got this email of what appears to be basically the same thing, so here is my well...
Anonymous asked: have you ever experience a tough audience? who do you deal with that?