(via nudawn)
I’m reblogging this strictly to point out that her next two posts were “OK THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS ASLEEP.” and “WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE.”
Welcome to the Internet?
Buttersafe is dry to the point that even I don’t fully appreciate some of their jokes, but this one is aces.
sympathyfortheartgallery:standardgrey:(via secretcities)
WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Michaelangelo sez: Religion eez a construct of de imagination! Everyzing eez—oh hello Holy Fazer! Yez, I feeneesh de painting! No, i deed not do anyzing to claim dat religion eez a hoax on de ceiling of de Sisteen Chapel! Oh, you pay me now, Mamma Mia!
Secret #1: My remarks will consist entirely of “You made that up,” and “You’re just saying that to sell more of your _________.”
Secret #2: I will always be right.
Example:
GB: Obama is racist against whites, can’t you people see?!
Me: You completely made that up.
(Ten Minutes Later)
GB: Isn’t it time someone stood up to the government?
Me: You’re just saying that to sell more copies of your book.
(Fifteen Minutes Later)
GB: …and as you know, dogs are the most common household pet.
Me: You’re making that up.
GB: No, I’m not, I actually read it off this report from the American Humane Society.
Me: Which you printed off of your computer. (Looks at audience) That’s convenient!
(Audience bursts into applause; Beck bursts into tears; Girl hiding inside my podium wipes her mouth.)
Attention Movie Lovers: The Hangover is currently available on DVD for $19.99.
Attention Smart Movie Lovers: The Hangover is currently available on the internet for free.
Probably the best Cracked Topics article I’ve ever read (other than this one somebody wrote about Transformers 2).
