1. slaneofthought:

    MIRROR MYSTERY- Can you figure out the mystery movie mirrored in this photo I took with my laptop because my I can’t find my iPhone??? (HINT: This is the 4th time I’m watching it this month.) 

    ¡¿¡ʇɐɔ buıʞןɐʇ ɐ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

    If you eliminate 30+ minutes where characters are JUST WALKING FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER you could pass A Talking Cat!?! off as the worst episode of Fringe ever.

     
  2. cracked:

    5 Beloved Famous People With Creepy Secret Obsessions

    #2. Daryl Hall Is a Warlock

    Remember when your crazy evangelical mom threw all of your albums into a bonfire because they were “the devil’s music”? Was there any Hall & Oates up in there? No? You still had that copy of Private Eyes collecting dust on the shelf? That’s probably because Daryl Hall’s black magic wanted it that way.

    Read More

    Hey guys, my friend Jake wrote this. Please read it, or at least click on the link and pretend you did.

     
  3. welcometothisblogbitch:

    mikescollins:

    emmyblotnick:

    NIKKI & SARA LIVE PREMIERES TONIGHT ON MTV! Holy moly.

    I’ve been writing for this show with some ridiculously funny people and I’m way too excited for its debut. Nikki Glaser and Sara Schaefer are amazing comedians, the first guest is Ke$ha and we’re live in the TRL studio in Times Square. So many things about this show just make me goop my pants each and every day, so please, WATCH! 11PM, MTV. Eeeee!!!

    This is exciting and there are awesome people involved in this show.

    Watch our show and see why Emmy goops her pants

    Hey my stupid friend Chase is a writer for this show so watch it and let’s hope it goes well and that it’s a show that changes all our lives that way when I’m like 80 I can tell my grandkids “You know my friend Chase changed my life,” and they’ll say “How, King Grandpa?” (that’s what they’ll call me) and I’ll say “He wrote for this really good show” and they’ll just kind of sit there for a while but deep down they’ll get it. Someday they’ll understand old King Grandpa.

     

  4. Nice Coffee House

    • The kid working the counter has a mohawk, but his t-shirt says “GOOF” so you know he’s not a jerk.
    • If you order tea you can pay an extra dollar to have a British man in a monocle drink it with you.
    • When you stir the fruit up in the yogurt parfait, it whispers the name of who has a crush on you.
    • The art on the walls changes every day to describe that cool dream you had last night.
    • Sometimes the coffee is too hot, but you know ahead of time because an Apology Puppy runs out to warn you with a lick to the face and a collar that says “I’m Sorry”
    • More than once you will be sitting next to our warm fire, sipping a delicious hot beverage, and think to yourself, “Why would I ever want to leave here?”
    • Why WOULD you ever want to leave here?
    • I don’t think you should ever leave here.
    • Please don’t try to leave here.
    • You can’t leave here? That’s because there are no doors, only walls!
    • Might as well have another cup of coffee, since you can’t get out!
    • How did you get in here in the first place, you ask?
    • You didn’t!
    • You were always here!
    • We all were always here!
    • Your entire life was a construct of your own mind trying to come to terms with the reality of your eternal prison!
    • Welcome home!
    • Welcome home!
    • Welcome home!
    • All of reality is a sham, a vapid, embarrassing facade we all embrace and share to escape the horrifying truth, that we are all part of the same web of matter and existence, portioned off and entombed in a hellish nightmare where the least important things in the history of the mighty universe are thrust in front of us and deemed worthy of attention, a nightmare we refer to, day-in and day-out, as “life”. EMBRACE THE TRUTH EMBRACE THE PRISON
    • Our hibiscus mint tea is delicious and sure to put a pep in your step!
     
  5.  

  6. The Most Important Presidents

    With the election just days (more than one day!) away, I feel it’s important we take a look at what exactly the office of the president entails. Fewer than 1,000 men and as few as 6 women have been privileged to hold the office. Here is my list of the 25 most important presidents in United States history.

    1. Abraham Lincoln
    2. George Washington
    3. God Laserfingers
    4. Theodore Roosevelt
    5. Franklin Delano Burgerking
    6. Millard Fillmore
    7. God Quincy Laserfingers
    8. Jonathan Pants
    9. John F. Kennedy
    10. Thomas Jefferson
    11. Rape Sheffield
    12. Martin van Walmart
    13. Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson
    14. John Adams
    15. Harry Shit Truman
    16. Ted Leonard (intern who held power for 8 minutes after Dwight Eisenhower blacked out jerking off)
    17. Pope John Paul II
    18. George Clinton
    19. Ron Paul
    20. Bing “Google” Crosby
     
  7. Louis CK’s message to people who forget their LouisCK.net password

     

  8. Jim Lehrer is by all accounts a fine journalist and probably a great person, but two things:

    1. Could you maybe call out Mitt Romney on one, just one of his lies?
    2. How old were you when your parents decided to trade your eyeballs with those of a DEMON BEETLE?
     

  9. Weird side effect of getting tagged in your parents’ photos is you find out exactly how many and which of your parents’ friends want to have sex with you.

    WHY

     
  10. welcometothisblogbitch:

    mattgorman:

    DOCTOR WHO AU; Martha meets Eleven

    requested by anonymous

    I have no idea what this is and I’ve never seen an episode of Dr. What, but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with Freema Agyeman.

    Holy crap. I think I could get into this Dr. Which nonsense.

    Goddammit, you guys, you have to spell out “Doctor”. Doctor Where. Jesus.