This is the Best Thing

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I WONDER WHAT THEIR EMOTIONAL REACTION WILL BE. DO YOU THINK THEY’LL BE SAD? WHAT IF THEY’RE EXASPERATED? OR IRRITABLE?
Jesus X, local news is the fucking worst all of the time.
A) The emotional response of a family to the loss of two children is not news.
B) If you just lost two children, the last thing you want is cameras in your face trying to project your tears onto the television screens of old people you’ll never meet.
C) OBVIOUSLY they’re going to be sad, only a serial killer-grade sociopath wouldn’t be sad about this happening to them. We don’t need you to actually show us the family being sad to prove to us, “SEE? SEE I TOLD YOU THEY WOULD BE SAD YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE ME BUT HA I WAS RIGHT HAHA I’M THE NEWS.”
Fuck off, news.
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I WONDER WHAT THEIR EMOTIONAL REACTION WILL BE. DO YOU THINK THEY’LL BE SAD? WHAT IF THEY’RE EXASPERATED? OR IRRITABLE?

Jesus X, local news is the fucking worst all of the time.

A) The emotional response of a family to the loss of two children is not news.

B) If you just lost two children, the last thing you want is cameras in your face trying to project your tears onto the television screens of old people you’ll never meet.

C) OBVIOUSLY they’re going to be sad, only a serial killer-grade sociopath wouldn’t be sad about this happening to them. We don’t need you to actually show us the family being sad to prove to us, “SEE? SEE I TOLD YOU THEY WOULD BE SAD YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE ME BUT HA I WAS RIGHT HAHA I’M THE NEWS.”

Fuck off, news.

  • 5 months ago
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I'm Adam, I'm from Omaha, but now I live in Austin. I like to tell jokes. They're not all winners.


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